Live with Abandon
We were driving to Kentucky from Pennsylvania and playing worship music in the car. We were all singing and having a great drive through the mountains of West Virginia. We had such an amazing time in Pennsylvania and the Joy of God had our hearts. We were entering Lexington and I was listening to Live With Abandon by the Newsboys. You have probably seen the link numerous times on my Facebook. As I was listening to this song and singing, I became so overwhelmed that I began to weep and weep in the front seat of the car going down Man O War blvd in Lexington. I had an image in my head that just overtook me. It was of me and Jesus in a field and we were laying in the grass looking at the sky. He stood up and reached his hands out to help me up as he smiled. I jumped to my feet and we began to walk. He was holding my hand but he was much taller than me and I looked like a child compared to him. We began skipping down a large grassy hill and I smiled and let go of his hand and said, “Come over here.” I ran off to the side and finally came back to him. He smiled at me and grabbed my hand again. We then came up to a field of thorns, but there was no fear, just joy. He looked down at me with a smile and I looked back up at him. He gave me a look, like, lets go.
The feelings I had during this image were so powerful. He was showing me what Abandonment really meant. It wasn’t just about giving up a house, job, and material things to “go do ministry and save the world…lol”….it was about giving him our everything. You see, holding his hand represented Abiding in Him. When I ran off in this image, it was me thinking I was doing good, but letting go of his hand and doing my own thing. Gods desire is for us to abandon ourselves! To truly lay down our lives for others. To let go of our past and wrongs done to us, because we no longer live for ourselves and have no right to give someone what “they deserve” because Christ didn’t do that to us. To abandon our way of doing things, to abandon the way we think we “should” live life according to the world, and abide in him and not move, talk, or do anything unless He tells us too. Its about learning to hear him so clearly, that everything we do is with Him. I was as if a child compared to him and I thought about my kids and how they look up to me and my husband. How they do as we ask and they trust us. They look to us when they come to difficulties and ask for guidance. And we help them through it. This is what God wants with us. As I came to the thorns, it was so peaceful and a place of rest, because I knew He was right there holding my hand and would instruct me on what to do. All I had to do was listen and obey. It is awesome. He has been leading and helping me understand this more and more. Letting go no matter what the situation. No more trying to “figure it out” but resting knowing He will give us instruction. Eyes focused on the truth of His love and not wavering. He wants this for each of you. It may seem scary, but the more time you to devote to God and learning to hear him, the easier it becomes and the more you don’t want to live any other way.
This journey isn’t always easy. We have no regular income and we rarely know where we are going next. We aren’t going church to church and we don’t have an agenda. We take each day in stride and learn to listen and love those people put before us, one at a time. But one thing has become so real and that is that God is always there and he won’t forsake us. We have what we need each day, food, clothes, a roof over our head, and the joy of the Lord. I wouldn’t change it for anything! Its true freedom to live as He leads and he desires it for everyone! So take the plunge, give your time to God and begin to watch him change your hearts.