Archive for September, 2012

The Waiting

Waiting is one of the hardest things to do even when you know something wonderful is around the corner.  It has now been 2 months since we were blessed with this camper and started getting rid of what we had.  We visited my family and when we returned the home was empty and we decided to go ahead and list the home with a realtor.  We were so ready to go.  However, God still had plans for us here.  A family who didn’t have a place to live came and stayed in our empty home.  “Ah, so this is why the home didn’t sell…” God is funny… we think we have our plans laid out and boom, he knows the needs of someone else and needs you to help.  I couldn’t help but laugh.  They stayed for about a month and they just left yesterday.  Through this visit, I learned a lot.  I saw how my life and my desires were truly being laid down for another.  This exposed a lot within me. I saw my selfishness, my lack of trust at times in the Lord, but also how I was OK with not knowing what was coming next and the fun and freedom of seeing God at work without my “agenda” and knowing He was leading it.

Then, I had to go to the bank and we pulled into the drive thru…BUT…the new truck didn’t fit.  So, I had to back it up and go around and park to go in.  I was slightly annoyed (let’s just be honest here). Parked the car, left Joe and the kids, and went in.  I started talking to the teller and the next thing I knew God was just moving. He encouraged her and we had an amazing conversation.  And the coolest part was everything just flowed.   As I think about the journey to come, there are times I get a little anxious knowing people are going to have expectations as they follow our journey.  I begin to think, “What am I going to say?”….”How will I know who to talk to?”….”Can I mess up?”  But this encounter was a huge encouragement to me, that we interact with people everywhere we go.  And I just knew what to say and it just flowed.  The Lord is with us wherever we go and if we are truly seeking Him, we can be at rest knowing He will direct our paths, even when it seems a little inconvenient.

We are in a strange stage of life right now.   All of my worldly “securities”, besides a place to sleep, are gone.  No Job, No income, No knowing where we will be tomorrow, No comprehension of the future, etc.  This is enough to make any of us “freak out”…but to be honest, God has moved me into such a place of peace that I cannot truly explain.  Almost like a child that has to truly depend on their parents for all their needs.  We have removed all outside securities and distractions so we have no choice but to depend on the Father and amazingly I am OK with this.  For once in my life, I am not in control and I have to say it’s kind of nice. The pressure is off and it really is in Gods hands.  So many times in my life I have said, “Well, it’s in Gods Hands.” Yet I would continue to toil and do everything I could to make things “happen”. I would say it was God, but then I would still wonder if it was God or if it was the 100 phone calls I made (well maybe not 100 but you get my point).  So now, we sit in the drive way, house empty AGAIN, wondering what He is going to do next.  Do we leave before we sell the house? Or do we live in the driveway because we still have things to do here?  Only God knows and we will continue to pray and seek Him.  Its exciting to see how He will show up next.