The wifes walk :)
So I wanted to share whats been going on from the wifes perspectve because t seems like most ministries are done by men and sometimes its nice to hear the other side 🙂
So, a little background on me. I am a very logical, think things through, engineer. I have always had a plan for everything. I set goals and went after them. I enjoy organizing events and being IN CONTROL. I like to be in the “know” with whats going on and for some reason I always like to share MY ideas and opinions even if they weren’t asked for…(something God is still working on me with). Maybe some of you can relate, maybe not 🙂
Ever since Joe and I married back in 2003, I have been in control of our finances. When Joe started his own business, I still handled that side of it. Why? Because it was my way of holding some control over the business and making sure we had money to live on (I am just being honest with you all). If money was tight, I would nag Joe. Ask when the next job was, if we didnt’ have anything, I would hint around that He needed to be out selling. But Joe always said God is our provider. My response is, yes he is, BUT YOU need to get the word out there about your business. So in other words, I was looking to Joe and NOT God. The arguments, stress, frustrations, were all because I couldn’t rest in knowing the Father God as my provider and would take care of us.
Over the years, I started seeing how God really would come through for us in a pinch. God began to grow my faith. I would see it happen, praise the father, then go right back to worrying. I was happy when money was in the bank and a mess when it wasn’t.
But we began ministering on the streets together. We would go out and just ask people if we could pray with them. We would sometimes get clues of who we were looking for and we would find them and pray. We started seeing how many ideas we had from reading the scripture, when put into practice, gave us a different result and when we got back into the Word, God would show us how it aligned with His Word but had been hidden from us. But in the end, it was all about Love. Showing people His love for them and that He does care about each of us.
The business did very well last year. But our biggest joy and fulfillment came from ministering and talking to people everywhere we went. In January of this year, the business STOPPED. No phone calls, no quotes, nothing. Joe would go door to door at businesses and no responses. For the first time in 9 years, absolutely nothing. I would get upset with Joe and with God. My faith would waiver, is this real? But as I looked within, I could see that all my frustration revealed a very large amount of doubt toward God. I could say all the right things, but when the pressure was on, my peace and rest was too. You see God is a jealous God and truly wants us to be completely reliant on Him alone. When our peace is gone, we need to look within and ask Why? This will reveal the condition of our heart.
So after a couple months of asking God what to do and still no calls, (however, our bills continued to get paid, somehow) Joe says to me, we put all this effort into our business. We toil,we spend day and night working for the world, chasing finances to live the american dream. Then, IF we have time after dinner and bed,we go and do Gods work. Sure we minister sometimes on the job, but who are we serving? God tells us we can’t have two masters. We can’t serve God and Mammon. So, I think we just need to start ministering full time and trust God to provide. I see it all through scripture. Instead of working for ourselves,let just work for God. Joe tells me He thinks its time for us to get our “ice cream truck”.
I had been seeking God and my heart really wanted to do this, but my mind and logic of this was screaming in my head that this was crazy. I began to really pray more and seek the scriptures because I truly believe in the unity and power between a husband and a wife. I also agree in a woman supporting her husband, but I also believe there is a unity of the Spirit. So if this is what God was calling us to, then my spirit needed to have rest and peace with this decision because Joe and I are one and are meant to minister as one. But I still had trust issues.
I remember one night laying in bed and I asked God to speak to me and give me something so I would know this is the right decision. I rolled over and right before I fell asleep I heard God speak to my heart and say “NO, I won’t give you anything” He asked me if I believed Joe was seeking Him. I did. God told me He wanted me to trust Joe. So he wasn’t going to give me a sign or tell me anything, because he wanted me to learn submission to Joe and to trust him. This honestly took me a little time to digest. This meant I wasn’t going to be in-control. That I wasn’t going to be in “the know”. I had to trust.
Well, I have been. This journey so far this year has been just that. Learning to truly trust and find a place of peace and rest in the Father. A few weeks later, Joe and I truly felt a desire to start selling/giving things away. So we started with some of the bigger things we didn’t use much. As they sold, I began to question again.God,what are we doing? Is this really what you want? What happens if it all sells and we have nothing? As I read the bible, just knew in my heart this was the right thing. But how are we going to afford an RV and pay off debt? TRUST! So we continued to walk in obedience selling things. I became at total peace and rest knowing God was handling it. That there wasn’t anything I could do to make any of this dream happen, but if it was what He wanted, t would happen. A week later, we were given the truck and camper (you can read about those if you haven’t already on the other posts). So now, I just walk, day by day. My ideas and plans have been laid down and I can say that I have found a peace and rest. The home is on the market and God will sell it when its time. All I know is that by this house not selling yet, we have met some incredible people. We have shared Jesus with many and God has kindled a new desire for a relationship with Him in the hearts of some. So the ministry has started and we haven’t left our driveway 🙂